Tuesday, August 10, 2010

More Fun at David's Expense

I hate cockroaches. As far I am concerned if you are married it is the man's job to kill any and all roaches. They are horrible disgusting critters. The only problem is that David is even more afraid if roaches than I am.*

The other day Dakota and I took the kids to the Natural History Museum while David was at the office. Dakota and I split up, he took Grayson and I took Alonzo and Colin, then after a while we switched. Later when I was looking through the pictures Dakota took I found this:

Yep that is one of my kids with a giant hissing roach crawling all over him. *Shudder* I am so glad Dakota did that with them, they all seem to love everything creepy crawly. It is really cool that they got to see the bug exhibit at the Smithsonian. It is even cooler that I didn't have to. Instead I go to see the fossil exhibit, twice. Which is just fine with me.

That brings us to tonight, and this is the point at which I get to make fun of David (again). Walking home from the Metro with the kids tonight it was already dark. Not surprising a few roaches ran out on the sidewalk in front of us. The big ugly ones we call water-bugs in Texas. I squeaked. I do that when I am near something yucky - it isn't a scream, it is a squeak, a scream would be louder. Then I moved so that David was between me and the roaches. I don't care if that is mean, roaches are a husbands job to deal with, it is is the vows somewhere, I am sure of it.

Grayson thought the roaches were pretty cool and started following them around as they scuttled along. This just proves to me that even among the very young testosterone causes brain damage. He told Dave that he got to hold one at the museum and wanted to know if he could hold these too. I yelled "NO!" and moved a little farther away just in case. David sucked it up and went along with Gray talking to him about how fast they move, how the antennae wiggle around, how they can survive for days without a head. Further proof they are unnatural evil things.

Things were going along pretty well when David got a bit too close and the roaches decided it was time to fly.** David gave short scream (you know a bit louder than a squeak) and started jumping up and down waving his arms all over the place. I wanted to be supportive but it was funny all I could do was laugh. It was one of those moments that I wished I had a video camera it would have been priceless! Well, maybe not priceless, but worth at least $10,000 on America's Funniest Home Videos.

*Dave says that he isn't afraid of roaches. He just doesn't like them. They give him the heebie jeebies. They terrify him. Yeah I know terrify is synonymous with afraid, but he doesn't seem to think so.
**Flying cockroaches! Ugggh! Aren't they horrible enough without the power of flight? And they always make such a nasty noise when they fly. Sort of like a demonic helicopter.


Jen said...

Okay, can totally visualize that scene...hilarious! Somehow we missed the cockroaches on our visit last week...think that's okay, though, as Nicholas would probably want one for a pet....

Connie said...

So glad your kids had the chance to play with giant bugs ;) Glad I didn't have to! Growing up in Florida we had the gigantic flying palmetto bugs, which are about 1-2 inches of crunchy disgustingness. I've been told they are not true roaches, rather, some sort of beetle, but I am not convinced... if it scuttles, smells, acts, (etc.) like a roach, it's a roach in my book. Those damned things would get in your shoes at night, and of course, if you forgot to check and poked your foot in without looking, the evil bug would run up your leg into your pants. I am not kidding. The only thing more recognizable than the "palmetto bug in your pants scream and strip dance" is the "fire ant scream and strip" dance. In other words... David, I'm with you all the way! Roaches are gross!

Shannon said...

Jen - I pretty sure that after Gray petted one he would want to take it home and keep it. He asked if we could have a hissing cockroach for a pet. Boys are so gross, what is with them?

Connie - Did a quick check and water bugs are the same thing as palmetto bugs. YUCK! I have had the displeasure of the water bug strip a time or two, and ususally I was putting on boots so it took jsut that little bit longer to get everything off. Ugggh! I also have been know to strip in the middle of the yard and hose off due to the fire ant dance. Good thing we lived out in the country. I am hoping there is nothing in our yard in Malawi that would inspire such a dance.

Daniela Swider said...

Liked the story! David has been entertaining you guys lately.

Not a fan of roaches but as someone who lived in FL, I hated palmetto bugs and fire ants with a passion. Palmetto bugs were usually outside but one would get in the house from time to time. Even our cats didn't want to deal with them and you had to be careful how you handle them because they tend to be "juicy" and can leave nasty stains. And fire ants are so vicious - they'd bite you and hold even if you went after them with water from a hose. Their bites hurt for months. Both are part of living in FL though, so sooner or later you encounter them. Definitely two things about FL I won't miss.

Bfiles said...

oh yuck I can't even read these comments!!!! When I lived in Venezuela, I got comfortable enough w roaches that I could kill them easily but I'm a big wimp now. Niger was good to me- few bugs as it's too damn hot. I'm sure I'll due for an assignment to the most tropical buggy country ever.

Camille said...

You are right - killing bugs is clearly a boy job! You are a brave woman and I am sufficiently grossed out :)

Monica said...

oh, those pics made me squirm. as you know, i am NO fan of roaches. HATE 'EM. i have been known to make ed rearrange the furniture to make sure they are squashed and DEAD. did i say i HATE THEM??? ed does not like them either, but he knows and understands my irrational fear, so if he wants to stay married he has to kill them dead. the thought of david made me giggle. ;o)