I'm Not Dead, and Neither is this Blog

But I really, really hope this guy is truly, completely, and totally dead.

He (She? It??)  is the boys' newest treasure found tossed up on the beach. It now resides on the book shelf next to our dining room table where it sits and watches while we eat dinner each night.

The kids swear it is a puffer fish skull.  Personally I think it is proof that aliens exist and should be shipped to Area 51 pronto.

What do you think it is?

Things Diplo-Kids say

I was watching an episode of House Hunters International on AFN this afternoon. It featured young newlyweds moving to Spain so the husband could teach English.  The boys were a riot.

First they seemed puzzled as to why the show kept repeating how hard it was to move overseas to a country where they didn't know anyone.

"What's so hard about that? We do it all the time" 

Finally they allowed that it would probably be harder if there wasn't an embassy community waiting at post with CLO events so they could meet other kids. They still thought they were making too much of it.

There several comments about how maybe we should think about bidding on Spain because it looked cool. Don't even talk to me about bidding until we get to Oman and have unpacked our HHE, please.

The kicker was at the very end of the show when they reviewed the 3 apartments featured, in the end the young couple didn't choose the expensive but cute apartment in an area of town where there were lots of expats, not did they choose the cheaper beachfront apartment with no oven and a long commute.  They smartly choose the cheapest apartment, in walking distance from his work.

The apartment came complete with very funky old tile floor that clashed badly with the aging sofa, a giant dining table in the middle of the living room, and seemingly endless halls between rooms.  In short not exactly their dream home but practical, leaving them money to explore the country of Spain.

Alonzo almost jumped up and down as he yelled,

"It's perfect, it looks just like a diplomat's home!!"  

Last Week of School

This is the boys last week of school here in Malawi.  No we are not leaving post this summer, I've made the decision to homeschool next year. There are a variety of reasons, none of which are really important in the context of this post.  What is important is that after this week time without kids is going to be a rare and precious commodity.

I have a list a mile long of things I am supposed to get done this week while I still have time to do things without interruptions.  I am supposed to be getting things organized for Dave's sister Teri's month long visit in July.  I need to finalize the curriculum decisions so we can everything ordered and be ready to start  schooling when Teri leaves.  I need to finish compiling the list for our final consumables order, we only have about a month left too get it ordered.  I need to order some clothes for the kids too, they have outgrown pretty much everything, the only thing that really fits is school uniforms.  After Friday I hope I never see those things again.  Who ever decided on white uniform shirts in the land of red dirt should be taken out back and made to scrub stained shirts until their fingers bleed.  UUUGGH!  I also need to weed the vegetable garden and get some seeds planted.  There is just so much I need to be doing.

What am I really doing this week?  Pretty much NOTHING.  I am sitting with my feet up and reading a guaranteed-happy-ending-trashy-romance book.  Or more accurately a stack of  romance books.  And I'm loving every minute of it. One of the cats we are babysitting for the summer has finally decided I am not some sort of demon out to eat her, and had curled up in my lap where she is softly purring as I scratch her ears.  Is there anything better than a feel-good book and a purring cat to make for a perfect morning?  David is picking me up to take me out to lunch in a little while.  The houses a mess and I'm not entirely sure what we are eating for dinner but it is shaping up to be a great day.  I have a feeling I won't be curled up quietly reading this time next week when all the kids are home making messes faster than I can clean them up.  I better enjoy the peace while it lasts.

Not Exactly Wordless Wednesday - I'm An Elf!

Rules of the House

I'm an only child. I am a girl. The rules of the house when I was growing up were a bit different the the rules I find myself making around the boy filled Cyberbones household.

House Rule #9422 If you are not at the beach or a swimming pool you must wear a shirt.

Could someone explain to me why little boys feel the need to run around all flipping day long with their scrawny little plucked chicken chests hanging out? When I was a teenager I thought guys ran around shirtless to impress girls with their manliness. Well I'm telling you I am the only girl in this house and I'm not impressed. Put some clothes on already!

Homework Woes

*Rant Alert, don't say I didn't warn you.

I hate homework. I mean I really hate it. As a kid I hated it, in fact I often refused to do it. As a teacher I hated assigning homework, I did because district policy required it, but I didn't like it, and refused to count it as anything more than a completion grade. As a parent my relationship with homework has hit a whole new low. Homework is public enemy number one in the Cyberbones household causing daily battles and disrupting the family peace.

As a former student, former teacher, and current parent of school aged kiddos I am familiar with all the reasons for assigning homework. It (supposedly) reinforces the skills covered during the day. It (is supposed to) promote responsibility. It (theoretically) teaches study skills and time management. And it is often one of the only ways that parents know what the kids are learning at school.

Now I don't know about you, but except for when I was a teacher, I simply didn't work on work outside of the work place. Work was for work, home was for family, chores, hobbies, romance, love and laughter, food and fun, but it wasn't for work. I say except as a teacher because the dirty little secret of teaching is that for every assignment you give to your students you have assigned the grading of that work to yourself, as homework, multiplied by the number students you assigned the work to. If you LOVE homework teaching may be the gig for you. If we as adults generally aren't willing to spend our leisure time on work, why do we expect kids to?

Of course I think there is a time and place for homework. I actually don't have huge problems with older kids having regular homework, although I think it is best reserved for special projects and studying for tests. But daily homework in kindergarten or first grade?? Seriously? How is giving a 6 year old homework at all helpful? Is it teaching time management or responsibility when he can't tell time or even read the instructions for himself? If you want me as a parent to know what is being taught try sending newsletters and weekly packets of graded work. That would be a lot more effective and I would have an idea of how he is actually doing in class so the report card wouldn't come as such a surprise.

I know that I should write a conclusion summing up all the points I have made into a nice concise paragraph but as this is a rant I find myself either repeating myself or going off on a tangent. I will instead simply thank you for your attention and go see if the oldest boy is finished with his homework and send him off to bed.

Labor Day

We in the Cyberbones clan celebrated Labor Day by reinstating evening chores for all three cyberkids. Chores = Labor and it is Labor Day after all. I think it was a perfectly appropriate way to celebrate. The kids are less than pleased with this arrangement. Chores had slowly slipped by the wayside when we had a maid, but now that Mom is the primary maid and housekeeper again the kids are back on KP duty in the kitchen every night. They say I am mean and cruel. I think they will survive and hopefully learn a little something from it.

Why?

Why do schools now seem to feel it is necessary to assign homework over long holidays? Is this a thing in the states too, or just overseas? I don't remember ever having homework over Spring Break or Christmas Holidays, not once, not ever. As an adult I would work overtime before vacation to make sure I didn't have to work while on vacation. I would strangle David if he brought work with him in vacation. So why should our kid's vacations be ruined by homework? What kind of lesson is it supposed to teach? That it is bad to take time off to relax? I know darned well those teachers aren't carting papers to grade when they go on safari, so why do they expect the kids to do it?

Today is the last day of Spring Break*. I am sitting here forcing the boy in Year Four (3rd grade) to read Charlotte's Web. The whole book, in one day. He dutifully carried the book with him to Zambia but instead of curling up and reading, he chased lizards, befriended donkeys, swam, went on Safari, got drenched at Victoria Falls, sat around campfires and generally enjoyed himself. He didn't get around to even starting Charlotte's Web.

While the older boy is sulking, but at least holding the book, even if he isn't reading it, I am in the kitchen with the boy in Year One (kindergarten). He is filling out his "My Animal Spotting Book." Said book didn't make the trip with us because mom was more worried about making sure we had swim suits, bug spray, sunscreen, malaria meds, and food. I wasn't even remotely thinking about homework over the holidays. So we are getting it all done today. Each page has a space for an animal's name, where it was spotted, and then it is to be classified as wild or domestic, herbivore carnivore or omnivore, and finally fur feathers skin or scales. I can't tell you how much fun it is get a 6 year old to write "I saw a BABOON at VICTORIA FALLS, it is an OMNIVORE, it is WILD and it has FUR," when all he wants to do is go swimming. Then we get to to do this for 4 more animals. He is supposed to draw a picture for each one too, but I am just printing the pictures and he can cut and glue, or we would be here all day.

The homeschool boy is running around outside because I didn't realize I was supposed to assign homework. Bad Mommy! Whatever was I thinking? No school work over vacation? The very idea of actually having time off! Sheez!

Dave had to run into town for a few things. As soon as he gets back we are going to head to the Tamarind Club and go swimming. Homework be damned. Whatever isn't done will just have to wait. The sun is shining, it is still spring break and we are going to enjoy it. It is already fall and I have been told that by mid-May it will be too cold to swim so we are going to enjoy these last days of summer.

*It is probably called Easter Break or something, since it is in fact the very end of summer here not spring, and the days are already starting to turn cooler. Yes the kids go to school all summer then get a month off during winter, which be summer if we were north of the equator, but since we are south of the equator it is winter and will be too clod to swim when they are off from school. Confused?

Things Kids Say

We were driving home from school today and everyone was singing along with the stereo:

If everybody had an ocean
Across the U.S.A.
Then everybody'd be surfin'
Like Californ-i-a
You'd see 'em wearin' their baggies
Huarachi sandals, too
A bushy bushy blonde hairdo
Surfin' U.S.A.

Alonzo suddenly yells, "I love this song! Bob Dylan is a really good singer."

Duck Pond Today

We went to the duck pond today to go sledding but ended up playing on the ice with everyone else. Grayson spent his time between sliding across the ice where it had been swept and dusting the snow off looking for frozen fish. We are not actually in the picture above but almost everyone in the picture is walking on water, frozen water that is.

Ouch! Slam!

Grayson is home sick today and Dakota doesn't start school until the 31st so they are hanging out together watching television. The cable is acting up AGAIN so Cody was loading a movie for Gray to watch. Gray of course wanted to help. Cody reminded Grayson that Dad's rule is only grownups can handle the DVD's so they don't get scratched. Gray looked at Cody and protested, "Your not a grown up you're a teenager!" Ouch! Slammed by a four year old!

Scratch scratch scratch...

Last night I noticed the household lice magnet was again scratching his head. UUUUGGGGHHH! School let out last week and I thought we were safe from the creepy crawly plague. Apparently he kept a few souvenirs of his time in second grade. Ever wondered what they look like?  Here is a close up of one I pulled out of his hair this morning. I just spent the last two hours scrubbing his head with RID, and imitating a monkey as I combed through his hair searching for the nits left behind.  Next is washing his sheets and blankets and vacuuming his bedroom in hopes that I will find all of the mini-beasts and banish them from our house, hopefully forever! This was not what I had planned for today.  I gotta go my head is itching now!  Bet you were scratching your head too, weren't you?

Wordless Wednesday-At the Lake

Things Kids Say

The weather has been pretty for the last two weeks and all the plants have woken from their winter's sleep.  There are flowers everywhere. It is gorgeous.   Today however the weather has turned chilly and the wind is blowing the flowers off the trees and making little whirlwinds of flower petals skip across our yard. Grayson looked out the window and gasped, "Momma it is snowing flowers!"

It's under the bed.

The boys were under strict orders NOT to wake us up and ask to watch TV this morning. Instead they were supposed to clean their rooms. This worked remarkably well. We were able to sleep past 7 am. When we did wake up we could hear the kids giggling upstairs. From the sounds there wasn't much cleaning going on but we did get to sleep in! Success! At least as far as I was concerned.

About 15 minutes after we woke up there was a soft knock on the bedroom door. Grayson peeked in and announced his room was all clean. David asked, "Is it really all clean? All the toys and clothes are off the floor?"

Grayson's eyes positively sparkled as he nodded, "My room is all clean."

"Where did you put everything?"

Grayson giggled as he leaned in and whispered, "It is under the bed."  

Hey Mikey He Likes It

I decided to make something fun and healthy for the boys to go with lunch. This week is spring break so I have a full house and I am trying to keep them happy, not easy since many of their friends have gone out the country for the break, and they are stuck here with me. I grabbed some frozen peaches out of the freezer, some milk and peach yogurt out of the fridge and dumped it all in the blender.

A few minutes later I had a peach smoothie, although I said it was a peach milkshake. That just sounded less healthy, the kids are wise to me trying to feed them healthy stuff. They would much rather have pop-tarts. Grayson took a cautious sip and announced, "Yum yum that is delicious!"  Success! Next time banana-choco-smothies!

Clean Shoes

"Don't forget to clean your shoes!"  This was Colin's announcement of the evening.  It was a weird announcement because Colin never cleans anything voluntarily.  Thank goodness someone had clued me in at Cub Scouts Monday or I might have been worried I had the wrong kid. 

Tomorrow is December 6th.  Here in Germany that means Sankt Nikolaus will be paying a visit to leave a treat in the shoes of good little kiddos, and a prickle for the naughty.  My kids are flexible, they are quick to adopt any and all local customs that promise a chance at extra goodies. Tonight they prepared for Sankt Nikolaus by making sure their shoes were clean and ready to be filled.  Colin in particular really worked hard at cleaning his, even the soles are clean.  

Wonder what they will find in the morning, a treat, or a unpleasant surprise?  Maybe both since they are good and bad in turn. 

Wordless Wednesday -My Karate Kids

Overheard Conversations

Conversation between Alonzo and Colin:

"I speak Germanese!"

"Eins, zwei, drei, vier, funf, sechs! I speak Germanese too!"

Hmm...Germanese, I'm so proud!

Wordless Wednesday-Cowboy Boots