Thursday, May 26, 2011

This Is My Life

It's no secret that Colin aspires to grow up to be Jeff Corwin or Dr. Brady Barr. He spend hours watching Nat Geo Wild and the Discovery Channel. He memorizes animal books. If I want to know what kind of pretty bird is in the back yard I ask the kid. He won't tell just me it is kingfisher, instead he will tell me it is a MALACHITE kingfisher. Then he will give me a run down on similar species, how to tell them apart, diet, and habits. He can happily entertain himself for hours with a pair of binoculars or a camera stalking the animals in our yard. He isn't happy just catching a turtle. He has to know that it is a Bell's Hingeback Tortoise.

You would think all this focus would be a good thing. And it would be if he would stay focused on birds, turtles, lizards and other non-scary, relatively harmless creatures. His new fascination is spiders. Big hairy spiders! Baboon Spiders! I have mentioned previously how I feel about these things. He is even using the spiders to terrify his big brother, going so far as to put a spider in his shoe. EEEKKKK! I will be checking my shoes from now on or maybe only wearing flip-flops. Have you ever seen the movie Arachnophobia? I haven't, and after the last week I don't feel like I need to, I have lived it.

He will scoop up a spider with his bare hands and then let it walk all over him while he continues to hunt for more spiders. It is at once fascinating and horrifying. No one can figure out why he doesn't seem to get bit. His brothers and the maid's 3 daughters follow him around the yard as he collects more and more spiders in a sort of macabre parade, although no one else seems anxious to have the spiders crawl on them. I have lost count of the number of times he has walked up behind me and said "Mom?" just so I will turn around and find him with a huge sider sitting on his head or clinging to the side of his face. I know I shouldn't scream but I do, every time, which of course just eggs him on. I can't help it, I HATE spiders.

I tried to take a video of Colin today when he had only (ONLY!) two (TWO!) spiders on him. I figured I could handle it, but I didn't count on 9 year old little boy humor. Check it out. Unless I can get Dave to take some video this is all there is because I'm not voluntarily getting this close to Colin and his horrifying hoard of arachnids ever again. Oh, and for the record I make him release them AWAY from the house every evening before he comes in for dinner. There will be no repeat of Stanley with a baboon spider. Stanley the camel spider was kinda cute, these things are....ICK!


video

10 comments:

Anne said...

That is my worst nightmare!

I DID watch Arachnophobia and I'm worse off for it. As in completely horrified. I'm not looking forward to the spiders I'll encounter when I move to Guinea. *shiver*

Jill said...

I agree with Anne!!! I am NO fan of spiders. No fan AT ALL!!! I can only thank the lord that my daughters despise them as much as me ... so no carrying them around in their purses or on their bodies like your munchkins.

You deserve a serious reward for videoing them ... and for staying sane when he came close to you with them.

I think I need a shower now...

Daniela Swider said...

That would be me. I'd scream my head off too. Hope my kids don't develop a crazy interest in spiders or another similarly cringe-worthy animal...

LeesOnTheGo said...

Ironically, while I'm sitting here reading yor witty blog I am listening to my just-barely-a-reader youngest boy reading a book about icky spiders. WHAT is it with boys and spiders? And our African yards boast the really creepy ones.

Shannon said...

Anne - the good news is you probably won't see one unless you have a budding Steve Erwin in the family. Also if you do see one remember they don't jump and as my son demonstrated they are pretty calm critters. I still don't want one to touch me!

Naoma - I came in to the li at one point to find Colin watching a show on Nat Geo about Samurai Spider Fighting in Japan. GAG! Apparently it is an urge that crosses cultural lines.

We do have some cool critters in our yards! Do you want me to send Colin to Kenya to teach your kids how to find them? Dave looked all over trying to find the spiders, within 10 minutes Colin had 3. He has a gift.

Jill - You are SO lucky.

Daniela - I hope not too.

Donna said...

I am never, ever, ever, EVER moving to that country. Also, I am never letting your son put even one toe in my front door. That is terrifying!

That said, kudos to you for encouraging his interest. I'm not sure I could be that good of a mom. But if he's ever a famous scientist, he'd better make sure to thank his amazing mom!

Connie said...

Keep this video... he OWES you for being such an awesome mom :D

Sadie said...

This week’s State Department Blog Round Up is here, and you're on it!

http://sadieabroad.blogspot.com/2011/05/state-department-blog-roundup.html

Please let me know if you have any objections and would like to be removed. Thanks, and Happy Memorial Day!

wellthatwasdifferent said...

OMG. But you know, he really could grow up to be another Jeff Corwin! I think I remember him saying that when he was a kid he was obsessed with snakes. I don't know if that would be worse...

Shannon said...

Connie- I will definitely be saving this video.

Awww... Donna I was going to buy him a ticket to Amman, I'm sure there are some horrifying critters in your yard,and Colin could teach your kids how to catch them and use them to terrorize you too!

Kelly - SIGH! It's snakes too. Remind me to do a blog post about Longhouser and Spock the two snakes in our living room. We had a snake in Germany too. When we got him Dave made me release him into his cage so he could take pictures. IT went fine until Ribbon moved then I screamed and threw him across the cage.