Just Another Day Living Overseas

Disclaimer: its Dave here again. Shannon and the kids are in the USA where she has limited access to the Internet right now.

It's just another day living overseas. Holidays come and go and some are celebrated and some not so much. Traditions are big in our home as it helps to create memories. Like Friday night movies and desert Wednesdays. One of the best memories I have of Thanksgiving is at my Mamaw's and Papaw's house where a bunch of tables would be placed to span from one end of the living room to the other side of the dining room. Around the table were their two kids and most of the grandchildren. But that was a long time ago. Papaw passed in 1979.

I use memories such as this to set a standard for what celebrations like thanksgiving should be like. My last Thanksgiving with my Mother was similar except Shannon and I hosted it in our home. Again in a small house with tables spanning the living room and dining room filled with most of her children and grandchildren. My mother passed in 2000.

This Thanksgiving Shannon and the kids went to her uncle Tommy's house with her mother, enjoying fried turkey and friendly games of washers... creating new memories for our kids to build upon and help set the standard for them later on.

Not only do we have holiday meals at the dinner table, but we eat every meal as a family at the dinner table. Ok except one... the inauguration of President Obama... we all sat in the living room to see it live. History in the making.

You see, this is the first Thanksgiving in seven years in the USA let alone at her Uncles. I don't think the kids even remember the last Thanksgiving they had in the USA. I am truly thankful that they are spending it with Shannon's Mom and Uncle.

Living overseas... its hard for me to go "home" because I know that my traditions are so different then most of my family... All of their celebrations are done buffet style. You get your food and you go find some place to sit and eat.

I am not sure where I am going with this except perhaps to just write it down to share my thoughts.

It would be nice to know that we are not the only people out here that hold on to old traditions. If you have any traditions you have feel free to share.

Letter to my Lover

Disclaimer: I have to tell you this is David writing. I am sure you would figure that out pretty quickly, but Shannon says I have to tell everyone its me so the readers don’t think it's her.

I find myself home alone tonight as the family has left for R&R back to the USA. Shannon an I have a tradition of leaving little notes for each other when we leave for periods of time. I did not get to leave a note in any of her bags... to see when she starts to unpack this time. Currently she is above Namibia on the second leg of her 26 hour journy home and I know she does not have access to internet and will not until she gets to her mothers house.

I wanted to share publicy my note to her now. By guy standars its pretty sappy, so if you don’t like sappy quit reading. 

Dearest Lover,

My love for you grows stronger every day we are together and twice as much when we are apart. I missed you the moment you left my sight. The house will be empty without you here but my heart will still be full of your love.

The other day you asked why I keep staring at you… so I could keep fresh in my mind all the different faces, gestures, and movements you make… so when I close my eyes it will be as though you are right here with me.

I will miss being next to you at night…holding you. I’m not sure what I am going to do at 0500 when you are not here for me to caress and hold as you wake for your first cup of coffee. I will miss the walks we take every evening… when we get to talk about the days events. I will also miss all of the wonderful dinners you make for me and all the stories you tell that make me laugh.

I will continue to sleep, holding your pllow next to me as though it is you… but it wont be the same. I will continue to take the walks and talk as though you are with me. And I will fill my time with all the adventures I know you want me to have.

Most importantly I will continue to love you and fall in love with you every day that I wake.

Enjoy your time with you Mom and Thanksgiving at Uncle Tommy’s. Eat a piece of fried turkey for me and make sure the boys get to play washers.

I will see you in a few short weeks.

All my heart and love - Me

Wordless Wednesday: Bugging Around

Change of Plans

It has been a crazy week in the Cyberbones house.  A week ago handshakes came out.  If you're not part of the Foreign Service family, handshakes are what we call it when you are notified of your next assignment (aka posting).  It is an exciting day.  Facebook and blogs across the world were busy announcing the news.

We had placed bids on six posts.  Two in Asia, two in Europe, one in the Middle East and one in Washington DC. I know the list looks a little crazy, but there are all sorts of rules and regulations about bidding, so we bid on a variety of geographic regions, just like we are supposed to.

For a number of reasons we had become a bit fixated on the DC option.  For one thing DC would require finding and renting or buying a house in a ridiculously expensive real estate market.  The day I said, "Hey look at this one it, its pretty nice and only $500,000." is the day I realized that when you start thinking half a million dollars is reasonable, you have been looking at DC houses too long. We had also pretty much decided we would continue homeschooling if we were to go to DC. I am not totally enamored of the curriculum I chose this year and would do it differently next year if we were to continue homeschooling.

In the evenings after the kids went to bed and Dave and I did our obligatory Facebook check in, we were on the net surfing DC real estate (Dave) and homeschool curriculums alternating with house decorating sites (Me).  So Monday when Dave finally got the long awaited e-mail my reaction was not "SQEEEE!!! We got Oman!!"  I think what I said was more long the lines of a very puzzled, "Really we're not going to DC?  Seriously? Are you kidding me?" Not quite the reaction Dave was looking for.

Of course once I had a chance to start really looking at Oman I became VERY excited and remembered why we bid on it.  David is now spending his evenings looking at 4X4 vehicles because he is totally planning on doing this.

With the kids.  EEEEK!

I am spending my time looking at the three English language International type schools in Muscat, trying to decide which is the best fit, because the kiddos ARE going back to school after all.  YAY! I get my life back. SOB! I'm going to miss having them home all day. (*note from husband yeah right!)

I think it's down to two schools: The American International School of Muscat (TAISM) which I have been told is fabulous, and the American British Academy (ABA) which uses the IB curriculum.  Colin's beloved 4th grade teacher taught at ABA for 5 years before coming to Malawi. Mr. B has lots of good to say about that school, but TAISM is the school where most FS kids go, and I've heard great things about it too. It's going to be a tough choice.  And then there's the British School Muscat which also looks like a good school, but my kids have never  been on the British national curriculum so it probably isn't for us.

When I am not consumed with schools, I am busy trying to figure out how I am going to get in shape between now and August, factoring in a 2 month holiday R&R starting next week during which you can bet I am going to eat my weight in turkey, ham, and Mexican food.  Later there will be pack out stress and associated goodbye parties, and then home leave this coming summer, during which I will again eat my weight in Mexican food and BBQ.  Sounds like a plan destined to fail, right?

In spite of the odds stacked against me, I am feeling fairly confident I can succeed. I am not-at-all worried about losing weight.  I am happy with my  weight for the first time in decades.  It has taken me 7 years and 3 continents but I have gone from 168 to under 140, barely under, but under. No, I am good if I don't lose even a pound. But instead, I am worried about getting in shape, being able to have the strength and energy to keep up with the kids. Apparently Oman is a hotbed of outdoor adventure sports.  I am pretty sure that as fun as canyoning, rock climbing, sailing, snorkeling and scuba diving look on the computer screen you have to have a certain level of fitness to make it even remotely fun in real life. Judging from the last few hikes I have gone on with the kids, I'm not quite there, but I WILL be!  After all, I have this to inspire me.

Whoa! Wait a minute, scratch those last two!  I don't do heights.  I especially don't do zip lines and what ever that second thingy is called.  No thanks!  Dave is on his own with the boys for those.  I'll go hang out at Starbucks instead, because did I mention, Oman has those too!  Yes, Life is good. 

Wordless Wednesday - I'm Gonna Miss This

Next Posting

Wordless Wednesday - Happy Halloween

Science Lessons

On of the tough things about homeschooling in Malawi is science.  More specifically shopping for science lessons.  Basic things like balloons or modeling clay are either impossible to find or ridiculously expensive.  We needed balloons for something, I forget what, but we went to 5 different stores before I found balloons.  I was all excited and grabbed the package.  Dave stood there looking at the price, until finally he asked slowly, "Are you really going to pay 10 dollars for a bag of balloons?"  Sigh.  I guess not when you put it that way.

Anyway, the two older boys have started working out of their chemistry book, yes I have both boys working out of the same book even though they are different grades.  I don't remember much from junior high science, do you?  I have yet to be able to find everything needed for any of the experiments, and the boys and I were getting really frustrated.  Yes we have been able to watch the experiments performed on Brain Pop or Discovery Streaming, but it really isn't the same as doing the experiments yourself.

Finally I had an epiphany! Last Christmas Colin got a super-duper huge electronics set complete with teachers manuals and student learning guides.  Out with chemistry, in with electricity.  Looking at the first few lessons had me trying desperately to remember the difference between series and parallel circuits. I know one of those is the reason when one Christmas light goes out on the tree they all flipping go out, but I don't know which or why, and actually I don't much care. I finally asked Dave for help.  Mr."I-did-advance-electronics-in-the-navy"  has taken over the science lessons for the Alonzo and Colin. Yay!!

Now I am sitting here with my feet up listening to him drone on and on about protons and electrons, charged particles and switches.  The boys are totally enraptured.  They're happy they are learning "real" science. Dad's happy to be involved in the homeschooling and teaching something he likes.  I am happy.  I'm relaxing with a beer.  Now all I have to do is find someone who wants to teach the boys reading, or math, or writing.

Wordless Wednesday - Zomba On Horseback

Pumpkin Lips

One thing every parent knows is that when the kids get really quiet they are up to something.  Today I went to investigate my suddenly way too quiet kids and found this:

Pumpkin lips tattoo.  Just fabulous. 

Wordless Wednesday - Last Consumables Shipment

Exactly!

I have struggled to write a coherent or even semi-coherent blog post about events of the past week.  I must have a dozen or more attempts at expressing my thoughts.  Thankfully there are those in the FS blog-o-sphere who are far more eloquent than I.

With permission, and gratitude,  I am reposting from Globehoppers.  She did a wonderful job compiling some of the many posts dealing with the tragedy.  Thank you Michele for allowing me to share this with my readers.

Around the Interwebs.

The past week has been filled with emotion across the region and throughout the FS/DS.

Anxiety.

Worry.

Sadness.

Loss.

Anger.

Disbelief.

Fear.

The world media and the Foreign Service blogosphere exploded with personal accounts of working with the fallen,what our jobs mean in a worldview, updates as our buildings were infiltrated, dread about the next target, reactions to our colleagues and friends in harm's way, and the little we could do but watch and wait.

Many articles reflected the emotional roller-coaster of being part of the FS/DS family.

emailfromtheembassy is here in Jordan and married to our RSO: "It ended with me finally truly understanding what kind of life we were living, when everything can change without a moment's notice, when the people you love are out there, somewhere, doing things you can only imagine, to stop the bad guys from hurting the good guys. It ended with me realizing that my husband could have died, could still, at any time die, because of the work he does, because he chooses to run into situations from which other people run away."

So many tried to explain what we do and why we do it.

ohhenrythomas wrote An elegy for men I never met: "I listened to a call-in radio show this week, on which caller after caller demanded to know why “we” don’t try and explain to “those people” what freedom of speech means in America.  “Don’t you know that that’s what diplomats DO?,” I howled at the stereo.  And, finally, it occurred to me:  No.  No, they don’t know.  Most people don’t know what it is that Foreign Service Officers, like Ambassador Stevens, and Foreign Service Specialists, like Sean Smith, do."

Discussions on freedom of speech, freedom of dissent, and misguided anger.

Arab Spring nations don't yet grasp freedom of dissent: "These are people who were born and raised in dictatorships. They are accustomed to thinking that a government controls its citizens -- that a film or documentary cannot be produced without government approval. For decades, this has been the reality of their lives, and they strongly believe that the Western world and its citizens have a similarly controlling relationship between individuals and government."

But the most hard-hitting were the blogposts from those on the ground.

Whatever is Lovely by bergamotorange, the director's wife of the American School in Tunis: "Grief has these predictable stages.  Denial is always first and we were certainly in that state all through the first night and then the acceptance set in and so did the mourning.  Saturday, we faced reality either visiting school or scrolling through pictures on Facebook  trying to figure out whose classroom the charred remains represented.  There were constant phone calls and emails from friends in Tunisia and around the world to offer condolences and help to rebuild."

We all cried when Ambassador Stevens, Glen Doherty, Sean Smith, and Tyrone Woods came home under the U.S. flag.  We all are hurt and angry that our Embassies and Consulates are bearing the brunt of the people's outrage.

I had a disturbing exchange with a teen back in the States over the weekend.  His answer to the troubles here was very simple: Evacuate and Neutralize.

Think on that bold an brash statement.

It's that sort of armchair patriotism that can truly put us at risk.

cheerfulstoic points out a truth that all Americans should realize: "When you join the foreign service they tell you that you are now the face of the United States of America, on duty or off, in the office or at home, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And we are expected to conduct ourselves in a manner that reflects well on our country. Well, guess what America. You are - all 314 million of you - the face of the United States of America. In this interconnected modern world you don't even have to leave your house for a foreigner to meet you and judge you and your country by your words and deeds."

We are a thick-skinned Service.  It's part of my definition of Diplomat.  People say and do awful, hurtful, and mean things to us and about our beloved United States of America.  But it's not a sign of weakness to not hit back.  It's the exact opposite.  In its most basic state, it's something more playgrounds should teach.

We can get angry.  Get hurt.  Get sad.

But then we get back to work and reopen our doors.  You don't curse the people of your host nation.  And you certainly don't walk all over your host government with an inflated sense of righteousness because of what's happened.  And you don't take the acts of a few thousand and lay waste to millions.

Why are we even here?  To expose other nations to what we hold so dear.  Freedom of speech.  Freedom of religion.  Freedom of dissent.  These we define as basic human rights.

All humans.

We ask questions like "What can we do to help remedy this?"

"How do we open the lines of communication again?"

How do we explain to them that the freedoms we enjoy come at a cost: of hearing things we don't like; of seeing things we find offensive, of being told we are wrong, of having components to our society that are truly hateful.

As diplomats our answers to these questions do not involve bullets.

Learn about what we do.

America's Other Army

Our Diplomats Deserve Better

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A Sad Day

Today is a sad day. On Wednesday I usually post a Wordless Wednesday pictures.  Not today.

Today I am morning the  loss of four American heroes.  These heroes worked to uphold the policies of the US government.  No, they weren't Marines. No, they weren't Army infantry.  They weren't Air Force, Navy or even Coast Guard. They were members of a much smaller group.  They were diplomats.  Card carrying members of the United States Foreign Service.

Ambassador Christopher Stevens, Information Management Officer Sean Smith, and two other Americans who names have not yet been released pending notification of family were killed in Libya yesterday.

I didn't have the privilege of knowing either of the men, but the Foreign Service is, in many ways, like a small town.  If you don't personally know someone, then you know someone who does knows them.   Six degrees of separation does not exist in the FS, more like one degree, or at most two. This is especially true in these times of FB, blogs, and twitter.  Just days ago I read a post about Ambassador Stevens, at the time I smiled and thought what a wonderful guy to work for.  Sean Smith was a husband and father, and through a blog link that passed my way this morning, I learned he was also an avid gamer. It puts a rather personal face on these men I have never met.

My thoughts and prayers today are with the family and friends of the fallen.

Things Kids Say - Homeschool Edition

Dave was working with Gray tonight on his math.  Gray was not into the assignment, which is why he was still working on it after dinner tonight. Dave decided to give us both a break and take over from me  for a while.

At one point he looked up at Dave, his eyes brimming with tears and stated, "My brain is all full, I can't learn anything else."

I'm afraid I had to leave the room so he wouldn't see me laughing.

Wordless Wednesday - JUMP!