Monday, November 21, 2011

Good Friends Who Make you Laugh Are The Best!

One of my best friends anywhere, on any continent, is Monica over at A Day in the Life. We were friends long before either of us had ever heard of a blog, never mind began authoring our respective blogs. We were pregnant together (there's a bonding experience for you) and raised our babies together before Dave and I decided to up and move our family all over the world. Our two boys are still best friends and spend every second together when we are home. Last summer I overheard the two boys plotting for Colin to live with them, or for M. to come live with us for high school. Maybe Monica and I can just send the two of them off to boarding school together.


One of the reasons I adore Monica is she gets my quirks, and has a few of her own. One of my quirks is the fear that someday something will creep up the drain pipe, into the toilet bowl, and bite me on the butt while I am happily doing my business. I know it seems irrational, but everyone has heard the urban legend of finding a snake in the toilet and I'm not convinced it's just a legend. In fact I cannot go to the toilet in the middle of the night without turning on the light and checking the bowl before I sit down. A habit that drives poor husband nuts since it is now combined with the fear that a black mamba is lurking just waiting to kill me. Hey! I live in Malawi, it's not that far fetched. Anyway I have to turn on the lights before I can set foot in the bathroom, which means that every time I go to the bathroom at 2 in the morning he gets a woken up by a blast of light as I scan the room for a wet mamba slithering out of the toilet bowl. It's good thing he loves me!

As it turns out Monica has the same quirk. The toilet thing, not the mamba, so far as I know she doesn't have major snake issues. Who knew toilets were so scary? If you want a good laugh go read her newest post "Why is there a machete in the crapper?" I laughed harder than I have in ages. Another thing I adore about Monica is she is one funny chick who can almost always make me laugh. No, I am not going to spill the beans, you will have to go read the post if you want the answer to her question. I am, however, going to add to her toilet issues just a bit.

Today I was cleaning the toilets and after I finished brushing out the bowl I flushed the toilet. Seems pretty standard, right? Clean, scrub, flush. Except this time when I flushed something long and black started coming out of one of the little holes at the top of the bowl, you know the little holes where the clean water comes from? Yes, I know that those holes are too flipping small for a mamba to come slithering out of, but when I saw something moving I screamed down the house. Dave and just arrived home from work and came running. This would have been a great except he took one look and started laughing. It wasn't a mamba. It wasn't even a snake. It was a worm. A worm. In my toilet. It came out of the clean water holes. In my toilet. I may never go to the bathroom again.

Even better I am going to have to apologize to the kids. They know darn well I am scared of something crawling up and biting me on the bum. I have found several worms in toilets over the past few months. I blamed the kids. It seemed reasonable, after all they are the ones who carry horrible spiders around the house, and leave little plastic bugs and rats in dark corners to scare me. The last time I found a worm one I told all three boys that if I found another one they were all grounded for week. They all swore up and down it wasn't them. SIGH! I hate when I have to apologize for accusing them of doing something they didn't do.

In a bizarre twist Karey, a good friend of both Monica and I, recently found a squirrel in her toilet. A squirrel. In her toilet. I am laughing just typing that. Squirrels are funnier than snakes and worms. I really hope she jumps on Monica's band wagon and blogs it. Please Karey??

Oh and one more thing. As I read this post out loud to Dave before I hit publish he informed me that it was two worms, not just one. Two worms in my toilet. Count me doubly horrified!


11 comments:

Karey said...

Love it! You two crack me up. No worries Shannon...I swear the squirrel story was the biggest motivator to blog. It will be posted soon. I promise.

Monica said...

omg. i am WITH you. i may never use the toilet again. what to do??? jeesh. i have been considering just going out back, digging a hole and doing it old-style. it's got to be safer, right? at least then i'd see the wildlife??? i have a strong nightlight in my restroom because i have to go several times a night (tmi, i know), so e. manages not to hate me - although he is sure i am totally insane. ;o) tell dave that apparently it is a really common fear. ;o) we are totally normal. and i say "yes" on the boarding school.

Nomads By Nature said...

I triple check. Plus shower drains/tubs. I've seen scary critters come through there too. Hopefully I didn't just add to your toilet quirk and make life even harder in Malawi. The worms would have freaked me out.

And that squirrel story!! Hysterical!! Can't wait to hear the first hand experience -- oooo - just saw it on your blog list!!!

Hope you have a worm free day, but still lots of laughter from good friends!

Lisa said...

This is a legitimate fear. When my mom was pregnant with me in the suburbs of Dallas, Tx, she was stung by a scorpion on the toilet. I guess I'm not helping, though. Nobody tell my mom I'm putting that on the internet, okay?

Shannon said...

Lisa I'm from Tx too (San Antonio) and I know a couple of people that were stung by scorpions or spiders while doing their business. Although I don't think the scorpions crawled up through the plumbing.

Shannon said...

Karey YAY! Can't wait.

Monica not only would you be able to see the critters coming there would be no walls or doors to get in the way of you fleeing for your life when a tree-rat shows up to watch.

Nomads After the spider waving to the kids from the drain overflow I am very suspicious of the plumbing in the bath as well.

Nomads By Nature said...

I'm guessing that spider was more of the baboon variety than daddy long legs? Just goes to show you should look everything over twice from a few angles before you commit to placing yourself in a precarious position!

Shannon said...

It wasn't a baboon spider but it was big, too big to fit through the drain grate so all it could do was stick it's nasty hairy legs through and wave them around.

Kate said...

I won't tell you about the time a giant Norwegian rat came up out of our brand new toilet, because that would just be mean. But if you ever come to my house and see bricks on the closed toilet lids, you'll know why.

pillarofpeace said...

I hadn't been checking the toilet before sitting down, but now that I read your post I think I better start. NPR's This American Life aired a show some time ago about Urban Legends. A couple in Chicago found a rat in their toilet...yikes!!!

Just US said...

Oh no!! Every time I enter my bathroom, I search for things crawling in or out of it! Thankfully I haven't found anything yet.